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” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me! Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.” In second place was a regularly told one-liner about a zoo with just one dog. The third placed joke was one about a dyslexic man who walks into a bra. Mr Duterte is notorious for comments often deemed offensive and made the remark as a joke, reiterating that only he would be liable for any backlash over military rule on southern Mindanao island.

“Many of the jokes in the list are fairly timeless and will still be making people chuckle in thirty years or more. The highest placed gag attributed to the Welsh comic genius, who died during the filming of a television show in 1984, was one about a gym instructor and the splits. “I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits? ’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’.” The joke came fifth overall. The most popular jokes were inoffensive ones and often included friendly jibes at the expense of husbands, wives, blondes, and foreigners. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything" 22. Less tasteful jokes about religion and animal cruelty, also featured, however. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road." 11. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one". Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing? I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband". "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again". I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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